Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
