We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
