I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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