Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
