just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
