He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
