I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
love makes seman taste better
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
