Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
