the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
