there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize