it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
