My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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