I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
