Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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