I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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