I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
