I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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