Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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