I CAN MOONWALK!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
