DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
