i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
