how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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