It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We are all done wearing pants today
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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