Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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