Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
