I must be too annoying 4 u.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize