I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
