I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
