i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
