yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
