Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
