Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
FUCK WHALES
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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