I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
