In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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