I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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