you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
