I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
