who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize