I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
