we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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