Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
