I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
