I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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