I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
