There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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