Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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