Christians are straight up FREAKS
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
