i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
