I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
