I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
