too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
