drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
