am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
