After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
