I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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