Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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