I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
