we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
