His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
