We won't sleep together?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can't turn off my feet"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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