is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
worst night to have a conscience
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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