this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
