Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she smelled like a LAN party
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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