like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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