SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
