he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
