Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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