Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
