The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Can I color on your dick again?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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