everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
