i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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