wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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