I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
