I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
