I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
