I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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